Sir Mandy Mandorallen is in critical condition at Aardwolf Hospital after an upset immortal roasted his toes for twelve continuous hours.

Gaardian reporters were roused early this morning for a surprise press conference by Ivar Enterprises.  It was called to announce the formation of a new division within his Corporation: Rapid Transportation Network.

Just a couple of days ago, the offices of Gaardian were bursting with excited news reporters. The same people who calmly confronted monsters for quotes and written articles about catastrophes bounced around in anticipation. The mountains of papers remained as they were too tense to work.

Earlier today, a deluge of roses of every variety (both real and imagined) arrived for Gaardian Editor-In-Chief, Alhena. This reporter managed to examine the card attached, which was signed "Your secret admirer".

Following the launch of the Midgaardian Publishing Group's new Content Management System (CMS), it was reported that founder and Editor-in-Chief Wolfe was looking with increasing desperation to find excuses to avoid publishing new issues of the semi-popular newspaper.

In an interview with Ravi, the controller of all things trivia, it was revealed that it was really an alien.

At 2am mudtime this morning, local authorities received a phone call from a distressed resident of Aardestates 2000.

When it comes to public love, perhaps there is a line.

A mysterious death was reported to the Cityguard at 4.35 am today.

As a young and up-and-coming clan, Gaardian constantly seeks ways to better itself.