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Holiday Tree-son
Written by VelvetLies

   As the calendar struck the Month of Great Evil, a slow invasion of Christmas trees commenced through Aylor, private homes and clanhalls.  Concerns arose from the far corners of the maps as n00bs accused the glinting from some of the branches to be spy equipment placed by rival clan members and/or malicious immortals. 'Deyz tryed to crax ur maze, u no' one player commented over Gclan in regards to the pine-smelling warrior placed in a room off the right wing of their closed clanhall. One angry home owner was also heard to declare, 'I ain't letting no FAIRY tree in my manor. We're strictly chickly and that ain't open for discussion!'  Friends of the outspoken character responded to the commotion, defending the outburst by saying the speaker is just a little hyper-sensitive about their male/male spousage and did, in fact, later purchase a tree to be placed next to the fire in their jacuzzi room.

   Other protests were made for a completely different reason. Not unheard of for the group of greedy little mile-takers, it seemed the brightly adorned branches just weren't enough. Picketers demanded mistletoe for nearly 400 ticks on the Day of Thunder, yelling catchy slogans and waving brightly colored T-Shirts. A representative from Xunti was heard claiming, 'we need mistletoe in order to loosen up our virgins in order to meet our seasonal sacrificial quota'. In an unlikely pairing, a Fae of clan Daoine was spotted nearby, hocking designs of mistletoe belts towards builders and manor owners. Broken bits of cookies scattered about indicated that the motivation for the protest may have been substance induced, and suspicions were raised even higher as the group eventually began belting out Christmas carols and sea shanties led by a crooning duet from HooK, balanced atop an empty rolling barrel.

  Other characters posted notes on inappropriate boards, requesting their trees be imported from Forest Argentum of Gelidus in order to stand apart with their silvery beauties. Equally inappropriate flaming replies educated the masses that to truly stand apart, a REAL MUDder would get a wreath before a tree any day, because the unending circle of the wreath would represent the true dedication and ultimate superiority above all others. The entire debacle was enough to leave the crowd exhausted and wondering - isn't it time for people to just start crying about Santa already?

-Editor's Note: Santa could not be reached for comment, but an unauthenticated statement released from Elven Labor Facilities indicated that ...as long as people expect presents at this time of year, they had better put their trees up, fairy or not. Neither Santa, nor any of us at ELF are about to support putting gifts under some stupid wreath. This mistletoe idea, however, may have some merit...


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