New study finds dental hygiene at an all-time low
Mobs reported teethless all over Aylor
THE ARCHIPELAGO OF ENTROPY. When teeth started mysteriously repopping in his dental office at an overwhelming rate, Dr. Yuck began a three-month study to determine the root cause of this phenomenon. What he has found is appalling, to say the least.
"I went out to survey 597 Aardwolf players and 1,258 local mobiles, and found that none of them flossed," reported Dr. Yuck. "Because they haven't been flossing, their teeth are more likely to fly right out of their mouths when they engage in combat."
"I've been seeing alligator teeth, teeth from a saber tooth tiger, a boy's bloody teeth, dragon teeth, shark teeth, even yeti teeth, popping into my office," continued Yuck. "If people - mobs and players alike - don't get their act together, my cousin will need to open up another practice down the street; and although his last name sounds like mine, it isn't going to be as pretty."
When asked if the recent decline had any connection Because they haven't been flossing, their teeth are more likely to fly right out of their mouths when they engage in combat.with there being no floss command or social available in-game, Dr. Yuck retorted that it had nothing to do with it. "The mentality of players is all wrong these days. For the Tooth Fairy's sake, even roleplayers have abandoned flossing as an essential activity, and have placed it at the bottom of their list of things to roleplay. That surely shows how little people care about their oral hygiene!"
The overall lack of dental hygiene has brought about the closure of Aylor's last toothbrush salesman. "There's just no market for these things anymore!" a resigned businessman declared. "People will just have to pick their teeth with their daggers or borrow a bar of soap and a scrub brush from the pot scrubber in Wedded Bliss. Sounds awfully unbliss-like, if you ask me."
In the meantime, players will have to resort to stretching DaVinci's String of Logical Reasoning o.o.o.o as far as it can go as an alternative to floss.
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