10. Article Requested: Ba'al is full of bots! Please expose them!
Why we didn't bother: Bots can't read, nor do they have interesting fleshy parts worth exposing.
9. Article Requested: Don't Drink the Water! What's in that fountain anyway?
Why we didn't bother: We're still (hic) draining our pool o' margarita.
8. Article Requested: TP Inflation! Player demands cost-of-adventuring TP raise!
Why we didn't bother: Gaardian will publish the article of your choice for
7. Article Requested: Madam's Manor? Who's running brothels in their real estate?
Why we didn't bother: Increased exposure may drive up the price of goods.
6. Article Requested: Amazon near liquidation?!?
Why we didn't bother: As modern as our society may be, it's still not polite to speak of menses in public forums.
5. Article Requested: Any article will do! Just release a new issue already!
Why we This is too stupid to address, even for fake news.didn't bother: News doesn't happen until we say it happens. There is no rush, there is only Zuul.
4. Article Requested: GQ Bots Ruin the MUD! And What!?
Why we didn't bother: GQ bots complete GQ's quickly and efficiently, thereby decreasing wait time between GQ's thus creating more opportunity for a greater number of players to be able to join a GQ in their range. Yeah, right.
3. Article Requested: Founder Booted! Rogues ousts Mars
Why we didn't bother: This is too stupid to address, even for fake news.
2. Article Requested: Rich getting richer! New bank max increases wealth, power divide
Why we didn't bother: Well, it's not because we were paid off to ignore this matter. REALLY.
1. Article Requested: Grammar Rage, Indeed! Punctuation Patrol abuse and excessive force!
Why we didn't bother: Hey, I like my kneecaps. Both of them. Right where they are, in one piece each.