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Aardwolf-ready machines to bolster economy
Specialization key to slumping market, experts say
Written by Mandorallen

As several manufacturers have reported lower-than-expected earnings for yet another quarter, a few companies have decided to alter their marketing strategies in an attempt to attract new purchasers. 

Professor Randym, reporting in from Fayke University, was one of the first to postulate that the recent lack of sales was completely the fault of Aardwolf's player base.

"What we have here," explained Randym, "is a large cluster of players who simply refuse to upgrade their machines to the latest 8-core Intel Xeon 'Nehalem' models with 30-inch HD monitors."

"The root cause is clearly indicated by the sheer lack of graphics and any significant amount of processing power required to run an Aardwolf MUD client," Randym lectured to no one in particular.

"Fortunately, the solution is quite simple," the professor of mathematics asserted. "All you really need is a product line that caters specifically to the Aardwolf populace, and bam! Recession solved!"

Professor Randym was so caught up with this idea that he left his empty classroom to found These systems will include custom built-in speakers that will chime when it is time to quest again, and automatically boos whenever Slay completes another global quest.his new venture company, "Aard R Us", which specializes in repackaging existing computer systems with incentives for Aardwolf players.

According to the latest press reports, these systems will include custom built-in speakers that will chime when it is time to quest again, and automatically boos whenever Slay completes another global quest.

All of the machines on the "Aard R Us" product line will be bundled with the Aardwolf version of MUSHclient, and will feature a complimentary special collector's edition of maps for all Aardwolf areas.

Furthermore, the owner's manual that no one ever bothers to read has been replaced with a handy and easy-to-use hardcopy version of the AardWiki.

For the past two weeks, Aard R Us has been taking in more orders than it can currently process.

"I'm too busy to lecture anymore," professed Randym. "But the good news is that at this rate of change with respect to our sales, the recession will differentiate into nothing!"


This just in:
Recession? What recession? TP prices still inflating beyond imagination!


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