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Crime Spree Hits Mega-City One
Written by Barkin
Over the past two weeks, crime has risen 35 percent in Mega-City One. One store in particular has had the worst luck of all. Throt & Gleep's Megger Store has been robbed three times and burglarized twice. Many say that there are only useless items that stock the shelves and have nothing worthwhile, but according to Thort and Gleep, their Vault stores a vast amount of gold and gems. When asked to view this “treasure”, both ended the conversation and asked for us to leave. This lead this reporter to believe that, like their shelves, they have nothing worthwhile.
A rookie Judge was overheard saying that Ernie Ramirez, owner of the Pustule Palace Cafe, was top on the suspect list but with the sheer amplitude of the crime spree, most of the Judges believe he was not acting alone. On this hunch, Judges have taken to the streets questioning every Dunk, Juve, and Tap they can find. Mr. Ramirez has been known to associate with organized crime bosses, but all leads have turned up empty despite the Judges' uncanny ability to extract information. It seems that all questioned were scared of something and it obviously was not the Judges this time. 
Some believe that more Citi-Def Militiamen need to be hired to assist the already overloaded Judges. With a few weeks left to Christmas, City Officials hope that the Judges can get this spree under control before the city-wide Christmas party.

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