Double the Danger, Double the Fun!
Shocking Statistics Regarding the Hazards of Double Experience
No one is safe from the temptation of double experience. We sent 12 Gaardian Investigation and Response teams out to see how dire the threat is. 3 reported back with this information:
10,218 Meals have gone uneaten as players opted to remain ATK for just 10 more minutes.
16 Call-ins to work as a result of double experience resulted in job loss for players. Players reported rejoicing at the chance to MUD all day/night until their savings were depleted, or until donations open again.
$2.98M US Labor Dollars lost when people at work continued to level at work, and not work at work. Experts fail to comment on whether this contributes to the reasons this figure exchanges to about 16 Euro.
482 Dates were canceled, or stood up, as people preferred the very real possibility of getting to their next range of EQ to the very slim chance of getting to second base.
1307 New SUPERHEROs were born prematurely as draggers forced them out of their near-HERO wombs to take advantage of their double experience.
987 Combined number of classes dropped or failed due to nonattendance by grouped students.
227 TPs and 7954 QPs have been traced as currency used to buy more double experience, which is estimated to be between 30%-50% of the actual numbers.
1929 Cups of coffee were brewed in anticipation as the MUD closed in on the last 10,000 of the next 1,000,000 mobs killed.
Is this becoming an epidemic? One confidential source was heard to say, "the thing of it is, Lasher knows just how powerful double experience can be. v4 could be nothing but punchbag mobs in jail rooms and he could keep virtually every player there by merely running some 2x." We contacted advisors to get their opinion of the accuracy of this statement. They couldn't be reached, though their voicemail promised a returned call as soon as they finished their next level.
**Editors Note: This article was posted during 10 minutes of double experience courtesy of Miskant.
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